


I’ll rearrange the stars, put them down to where you are

by Akiko_kitsune



Series: Sick of losing soulmates [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: First Love, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Canon, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-25 09:10:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16658287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_kitsune/pseuds/Akiko_kitsune
Summary: It started all childish and silly, but Takasugi couldn't deny that meeting Shouyou and later becoming his student was the most important and the happiest his experiences. The charismatic teacher, from their very first meeting, caught all his attention to the point that the boy couldn't focus on anything else. Even without understanding what he was feeling back then, he could tell he definitely didn't care at all about the subject of the classes.





	I’ll rearrange the stars, put them down to where you are

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's the very first part of the series I worked on for three months and the most light-hearted. It covers some moments from Takasugi's life when he was student at Shouka Sonjuku (the upcoming ones will gradually get to the present and beyond).
> 
> Shouyou/Takasugi in it is purely platonic, so I didn't see any sense in marking it as underage, though Takasugi is a kid there.
> 
> The title is a line from a song Light by Sleeping at least, cause as always I write because of music, with music and end everything with music.

“So you’ve come here again, dojo-yaburi-san~.”  
  
Takasugi turned back. He saw him again. This always smiling man.  
  
“How was the fight?” Shouyou asked.  
  
“I lost.”  
  
“Hm.”  
  
“Tomorrow I won't give him an easy win.”  
  
Shouyou smiled gently. “Come in, I'll look after your wounds.”  
  
“I can take care of myself.”  
  
“My student hurt you, thus it's my duty to correct his faults.”  
  
It wasn’t the first time. Not even the second or the third. So there was no point in opposing it. They went to his room. Takasugi knew exactly where to sit and wait for Shouyou until he came back with anything he needed to take care of him. He didn’t run away with his gaze, but follow every man’s move.  
  
Shouyou brushed his hair back behind his ear and leaned to treat Takasugi’s wounds. It wasn't as bad as a day before, but these old wounds let know about themselves during this fight. He should take some time to recover. But every time he recalled that stupid white head, he couldn't pass a day without trying to fight him.  
  
Shouyou noticed this too. One of the bruises from the other day which was turning to ill mishmash of yellowish and greenish shades. Shouyou covered it with his hand. He touched it so tenderly that it didn’t hurt. He held it like this for a moment. Like he was putting a spell to make it heal sooner.  
  
“Don't overwork yourself,” he said raising his eyes to met Takasugi’s. “You have to take care of yourself.”  
  
Takasugi looked away, but he didn't say anything. He let Shouyou do what he wanted.  
  
Takasugi would never admit it, but he liked his touch. It was tender and attentive. If anyone else dared to treat Takasugi this way, he wouldn’t let them. It would feel like they were treating him like a child. But if it was Shouyou, it felt different. He didn't treat him like a child, rather as someone important.  
  
Shouyou treated everyone with such care and attention. Takasugi knew about it. But it would be a lie if he said he had never closed his eyes and pretended that he was someone special to Shouyou. Only him, no one else.  
  
It was the only moment he let himself to be so pitiful.  
  
“You can come to classes if you want,” Shouyou said when he finished. “There won't be anything more than you’ve already learnt, but it may give you some other perspective.”  
  
It didn’t sound bad. The subject of the classes wouldn’t matter, Takasugi liked listening to him. To his kind words. To his soft voice. He always wanted to get closer to him. After every fight with Gintoki, he wished to meet Shouyou on his way back. To hear him again, to see his gentle smile.  
  
But… He wouldn’t come here.  
  
It would be too pitiful.

* * *

  
Takasugi never let people close.  
  
Well, it was true till that one incident. He won. He surpassed Gintoki for the first time. He lost his guard for a moment and all those people, who he kept away, found a way right to his heart. He still acted like nothing actually happened. Like he didn’t care about anyone, but in reality, he started caring too much.  
  
Letting people come close was new for him. It was annoying, but he didn’t try to run away from it. It was also in some ways nice. Having someone to fight with, someone to laugh with, someone to listen, someone to meet.  
  
But there was one thing he had yet to do it on his own terms. Not as a joke or misunderstanding. He went to Shouyou’s room. The man was sitting by his desk reading, but when he heard someone coming he put the book down and looked back.  
  
“Welcome back.” As always Shouyou smiled seeing him.  
  
“I want to be your student.”  
  
“I'm honoured.” Shouyou stood up and took one of the notebooks. He flipped through the pages. It was empty. “You may need it from time to time.” He passed it to Takasugi. “And your friend wants to join us too?”  
  
Takasugi looked back. Katsura. As always he followed him.  
  
“It's his problem, not mine.”  
  
“Of course.” Shouyou’s attention turned to Katsura leaving Takasugi aside. It happened only for a moment. And it wasn't like he wouldn’t let him care about others. He just didn't like when Shouyou turned his eyes from him.

* * *

  
Takasugi didn't skip a day, sometimes it was easier, sometimes it was harder, but he had to show up there. At least look from afar.  
  
But good things never last long.  
  
He brought them problems. Because of him, Shouyou would have problems. Takasugi wanted to handle it himself, but he was only some no good brat knowing only how to get into fights. In the end, Shouyou had to intervene. All ended without harm to any of the sides, but he had to move out of this village and close his school. But even after all this, his voice stayed gentle when he spoke to Takasugi. “I’m sorry, dojo yaburi-san, there’s no dojo or school left for you to challenge.”  
  
“Don’t worry. My target isn’t some dojo. It’s you, Shouyou-sensei.”  
  
Shouyou got surprised, but Katsura ran with an explanation. “So long as you’re there, even a meadow or a farm can be our school.”  
  
Well, what Katsura said was true, but… It wasn’t what Takasugi meant. He hadn’t thought about it at that moment. He wanted to be here because of Shouyou. Nothing else mattered to him.  
  
Of course, this school was far better than his previous one. Of course, he started to have some friends here which was pretty unlike him. But it wasn't only that. These were some nice side effects of the decision he made.  
  
The decision to follow Shouyou.  
  
Maybe he should stay quiet about it.

* * *

  
“I don’t need any of you! I’ll do it myself!” Takasugi screamed at his colleagues and ran out of the training hall. He was always a bit short tempered especially with Gintoki around, but that didn’t mean it didn’t catch Shouyou’s attention.  
  
This time it happened to be easier to find where Takasugi run off than to get out of Gintoki what they had argued about. Shouyou needed to improvise a little. He came closer to his student who was standing by the pond and threw the stones into it. Hearing someone’s approaching, he stopped and turned back.  
  
“You got into an argument again,” Shouyou said without judgment in his voice.  
  
“He’s an idiot,” Takasugi said immediately.  
  
“I only wanted to know what happened this time.”  
  
“Nothing.” He threw a stone, but it fell into the water with second time it touched its surface. “He said that if my father wasn't wealthy, I would never learn how to fight.”  
  
Shouyou stayed quiet. He let his student tell everything.  
  
Shinsuke threw next stone. Watching it jumped a few times he spoke again. “I know he was right. If I didn't grow up in a samurai family, no one would teach me how to use a sword. I know I had a good life. Better than most of your students, but…” he bit his tongue before he let it slip. “Never mind. I shouldn’t let him provoke me that easily.”  
  
“But it did provoke you. So this isn't the whole truth. You thought it wasn't fair judgement from his side.”  
  
“My father had some wealth. But it wasn't much. Enough to live as samurais, but not enough to gain any respect, any importance. As soon as I went to school, I learnt that we’re the poor that didn't even have a right of voice. And no matter how much would I struggle, how many rules I would follow, it wouldn't change it. It never counted who I was, what I wanted to say, what I was able to. When I became your student, I thought it would finally change. Looks like it didn't change.”  
  
Shouyou sighed. “I can't make the world to stop looking at you through the prism of your origin. Those voices will always be present. Yet, if you keep fighting, if you keep struggling, one day you will become known from your work. And this will be louder than any other voices.”  
  
“I don’t feel strong enough to achieve something like this.”  
  
“You’re far stronger than you think you are. When you meet any problem, it never defeats you, you always find some way out. And I'm not talking only about your fights with Gintoki. You keep amazing me.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yhm, I can't wait to see who you will become.”  
  
He really meant it. This boy kept amazing him. Shouyou didn’t feel like his teacher or mentor even if the boy turned under his guidance. He rather felt like Takasugi already surpassed him in everything. So Shouyou tried his hardest to support him. To guide him if he gets lost. To calm him down after failures and to help him to see even in this failures possibility to grow. Shouyou also tried to learn from him. To never give up, no matter how hard the struggle he was facing was.

* * *

  
During the night Shouyou walked around the school. He peeked to the room where kids were sleeping. He took in all the strays like him who didn’t have any other place to go, cause they lost everyone close or they ran away. He never asked why they needed a shelter for a night.  
  
He went inside. This night was peaceful. Without any nightmare. He only covered up some kids and moved a cuddly closer to its owner. At the end of the room, Takasugi was sleeping tucked between Gintoki and Kotarou. At the end of a day, all arguments lost their meaning letting them fell asleep as friends.  
  
Shouyou ruffled his hair a bit. His precious boy. His little samurai. Always fighting against all the odds. Fearless and brave. And at the same time so fragile. So attentive and intelligent. Shouyou didn't how he deserve to get a student like him,  but he would do anything for him.  
  
Also, he moved his hand away, it was becoming a bit more than a teacher-student relationship. All the moments they spent together, all their talks. It all started to shift to something else. Like his thoughts about him.  
  
Shouyou should back off.

* * *

  
He should stay back and make his peace with it. He explained it to himself time after time. Yet, the thoughts about this boy were always occupational his mind. With a small exception when something out of order was happening. Like when Gintoki came to him bruised up.  
  
“You got into a fight?” Shouyou asked trying to check his injuries.  
  
“He asked for it.” Gintoki came closer and sat next to him.  
  
“Right, right. Show me where you get hurt.”  
  
Gintoki slid one side of his kimono showing off heavy bruised arm. Shouyou sighed and went for something to ease the pain. He applied quickly the ointment into Gintoki's skin regardless of his whining.  
  
“You're horrible at this, Shouyou,” Gintoki groaned when he finished.  
  
“Next time don't use your arm to block a sword. It was too reckless even for you, Gintoki… Or… Is there someone catching on you, hm?”  
  
“In his dreams,” he scoffed.  
  
“We'll see, we'll see.”  
  
“I won't let him.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Gintoki stayed after at Shouyou’s room. It wasn't unusual, but it was becoming less frequent, the more friends Gintoki found. Shouyou always let him be and he never asked what was wrong. He wouldn't any of his students to this extent. He was there to listen to them and support.  
  
Shouyou returned to his study, but his previous thoughts also came back to him making him unable to focus.  
  
"Gintoki…” He wasn't sure if the boy was paying any attention to him, but he didn't mind if he didn't. “Am I a good teacher?"  
  
"Dunno. I only had you. But you aren't bad."  
  
“Thank you.” Shouyou smiled and ruffled his hair.  
  
"Maybe there is something you have to learn this time.”  
  
Shouyou looked at him, but the boy shrugged.  
  
Something he had to learn?  
  
There were more ways in life than running away and staying back. How long would he manage to live this life if he suppressed every feeling? In his worst days, he was already on verge of suffocating. What if he pushed even harder?  
  
But it was easier to move further things he didn't know yet how to deal with. Or he didn't feel strong enough to face it.  
  
So he never did anything about it. He never dared to. Reaching out for Shinsuke felt too greedy. This boy deserved someone better as a companion.

* * *

  
During years they spent in Shouka Sonjuku, Takasugi noticed that the bonds, he unintentionally created, varied. To be specific - his relation with Shouyou-sensei worked differently from any other.  
  
At first, it felt a bit disturbing.  
  
Why was this man so different from everything he knew? All his words felt different. Maybe because he meant them. It wasn’t something that he was supposed to say or something he was made to say. He believed in what he taught them. And that made Takasugi listen closely to every word he said.  
  
But it couldn’t just be it. Cause sometimes, when Shouyou was talking about something, Takasugi stared at him unable to focus on anything else. That feeling was so different from anything he had ever felt.  
  
He didn't name this feeling then. He didn't feel like he needed to. It was his special feeling for Shouyou. Though later when even more people got into his life, he felt like he had to distinguish it from other relationship in his life. Then he learnt how that feeling was called. It was called love.  
  
But back then in these peaceful times, Takasugi never told Shouyou how he felt.  
  
Maybe it was a mistake.

**Author's Note:**

> It's all for now. I hope I update this series during this weekend or next week. Let's pray my uni don't kill me before.
> 
> If you like it or hate it, comment and/or find me on twitter as @AkikoKitsune


End file.
